1. Breakfast was a smoothie. I skipped the spinach this time and it was better, but the protein powder still had this grainy type texture to it, so I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to stick with those or not. 
2. I got in 70oz of water. 
3. No exercise today. We went and got the kids pictures done. 

One problem I seem to be having is my evening exercise. I thought it would be easier to get it done in the evening after the kids went to bed, but that doesn't seem to be working out so well. I'm not sure what I"m going to do there or how I'm going to solve that.

How are you all doing out there?

I weighed myself today for the new challenge. 159.8lbs. I guess I should count that as a good thing because I haven't just been packing weight on.

So, since I have only 1/2 arsed done my goals, these are my mini goals for this weeks Cute as a Bunny Easter Challenge. I'm going to give them another shot.

Mini Goals

1. Eat breakfast; no matter what. And 1 cup of coffee does not make it breakfast.
2. Exercise at least 20 minutes/day 4 times a week. 
3. Drink at least 68oz of water/day. 

Today~

1. Breakfast was oatmeal with 1 pkt of Splenda and a handful of craisins, with a glass of milk.
2. Exercise was a 20 minute walk with the family and then 15 minutes of Wii Fit. 
3. I made it to 68oz of water/day. 

1. I did not eat breakfast. We woke up late today and I was not able to get breakfast in before heading out to church. 
2. I got in 60oz of water. 
3. No exercise. It was Valentine's Day and I spent the time with my husband that I would normally be exercising. 

Okay, so I'm pretty much sucking at my goals so far. But.....tomorrow is the first day of the Cute as a Bunny Easter Challenge and I am hoping that will get me motivated to really get those goals met.

A challenge!

1. Breakfast today was oatmeal with craisins and 1 packet of splenda and a glass of milk. 
2. I was able to get in 60 oz of water. 
3. No exercise. Saturday is another of my free days. 

In order to help kick my bum into gear, I'm joining the Cute as a Bunny Easter Challenge over at Ah..Me So Hongry! The challenge starts Monday, February 15, 2010 and ends Monday, April 5, 2010 (7 weeks.) I don't know how well I'm going to do with how slowly I am easing into this, but....it may just give me the motivation I need. Be sure to head on over there and check out the challenge.

1. Okay, so I attempted breakfast this morning. I have heard a lot of people talk about "green" smoothies that have in the morning, so I thought it was worth a shot. I went and got some chocolate flavored protein powder and some fat free yogurt. I had some frozen fruits and a can of spinach in the pantry. So, away I went this morning to make my shake. Well, the protein powder didn't dissolve enough or something because it was still kind of gritty and powdery. And as far as the fact of not being able to taste the spinach, well, they were wrong; I could definitely taste it. So, I ended up dumping it and had a bagel and a cup of coffee. 
2. I got in 70oz of water. 
3. No exercise today. I decided that Fridays will be one of my free days for no exercise.
   

Anyone have any suggestions or advice on these "green" smoothies? What did I do wrong?

Thank you to all of my beautiful friends and your kind words. They were definitely helpful to me to step back and take a fresh look at things.

I think I tried to do too much all at once. I have to remember that it took me 31 25 years to create these habits and it is going to take a little longer then 2 weeks to break them. Sometimes, baby steps is okay.

So......I have decided to make 3 goals/changes to start with and then add 1 new goal/change each week. Hopefully this will decrease some of the pressure that I put upon myself as well as give each habit a chance to be changed and reinforced before changing something else.

Tomorrow's first set of goals~

1. Eat breakfast; no matter what. And 1 cup of coffee does not make it breakfast.
2. Exercise at least 20 minutes/day 4 times a week. 
3. Drink at least 68oz of water/day.

Next Friday, I will add one more goal/change in addition to these beginning 3.

 *Warning* This post is real. It is raw. It is who I am and what I feel. I apologize in advance for the rambling post.

All right. I have not posted in quite some time. I did take a blogging break, but I was planning on still continuing here. However, that obviously did not happen.

I have run out of motivation already. It seems like as soon as I quit/could not do Metabolism Miracle, all motivation and gusto went straight out the window. I seem to be continuing the same cycle that I always get on. I get motivated and excited. I plan, find a new diet or a new exercise, and get started. Then I peter out. I give up.

I don't know what is wrong with me. I have food issues. I have eating issues. And I don't know how to fix them or make them better. If there is junk in the house, I will eat it. If I'm at a social gathering, I will eat it. I have no discipline, no willpower, no motivation.

I hate my body. I hate the way I look. I want to live a healthy life for my children. I want to be able to play with them without getting tired. I want to be able to shop for clothes and not get depressed.

And yet, none of this seems to motivate me enough. None of these things keep me on track.

I cannot stay on track. I cannot continue to eat healthy. I cannot continue to exercise. 

I am fat. I am obese. I am ugly. I am disgusting. I cannot understand how my husband finds me attractive. I cannot understand how my husband can like to look at me.

I have such low self-esteem. I have my whole life. A large part of it comes from my father and how he treated me.

How do I get myself out of this? It seems like every time I try, I fail. I am just a big, huge failure and I just continue to get more and more unhealthy and fatter and fatter.

I'm lost. I don't know what to do, where to go, where to turn, how to pull myself out. All I know is that I do not like what I see in the mirror (if I ever looked in a mirror.)

Sometimes, I even wonder if I am addicted to food. Is that a real addiction? If so, what do you do to get over it. It's not like you can just go cold turkey and quit eating food. We need food in order to survive.

How fat do I have to get? How obese am I going to be? 

I don't know where to go from here. I can dust myself off and get back up on that wagon, but am I fighting a losing battle? Am I destined to be fat forever? Is there ever going to be anything that works for me and helps me stay motivated and get the weight off? It seems like nothing works for me, no matter how hard I try. I lose a little bit, then I stall, then I go back to old habits.

Where does it end? When will it end?

WHY is it so hard? What is so difficult about this?